Act Your Age
by got2BaBabeFan
Summary: Grandma does the outrageous, nothing new but Helen's reaction is. A teeny bit of Morelli bashing but he's really not hurt and doesn't appear other than in comments. Babe couple already established.


Disclaimer: Nothing familiar is mine.

Babe & Plum Family Challenges FB Group - for Grandma Mazur: "Where does it say we have to 'act' our age? As long as it makes me happy and I'm not hurting anyone, I will act whatever age I want to."

 **Grandma's POV**

I had one humdinger of a night. My daughter was now on a rampage. It started with dinner. My favorite baby granddaughter, Stephanie, came to dinner with her new hottie. She really did it this time; she brought that sexy Cuban bounty hunter. She has finally given the best ass in Trenton the boot for good. Helen was clearly unhappy, with pursed lips and a flush to her face and neck. She has wanted Stephanie to get married and give her more grandchildren. I don't know why she pressures her so much. She has Val and the girls, why push Stephanie?

Anyway, Helen treated Ranger with cool politeness and was the perfect Burg hostess. I didn't like the way Helen was acting, so I tried to draw attention from the couple. I made comments about that stud's ability in the bedroom and if he was better than the cop in the sack. Stephanie's blush told me everything I needed to know. She was gonna be one happy camper for the rest of her life. I also spilled my glass of wine and knocked over the candle on the table. The tablecloth caught fire and scorched the wood. Ranger was able to douse it with water before the fire spread.

After dinner, Stephanie had Ranger drop me off at a viewing so I was away from Helen and Frank for a few hours. I needed to escape while Helen drank to calm her nerves. The viewing was a dud; there were no men around for me to have some fun with. My BFF, Myrtle, and I, along with a couple of other girls from the Cut and Curl decided to blow this popsicle stand to find some action.

We drove around and found a new strip club that opened and tonight was Ladies Night. We were able to get in at no cost and you get two free drinks with admission. Apparently we still got the free drinks with the free admission. I felt up the bouncers as I walked in. They were nice, but not as firm as Ranger and his Merry Men, as Stephanie calls them. I must've had lady luck shining on me because we got a table right next to the stage. There was a stud muffin finishing up as we were seated.

A waitress came over and took our drink order. I got me one of them Dirty Chocolate Martinis and I told her to keep them coming. I came home from the Atlantic City bus trip earlier this week after hitting a $50,000 jackpot, so I was treating my BFF's. They give me rides; I figured it was the least I could do. With the liquor flowing freely and the hot muscle bound men gyrating in their G-strings we got a little crazy.

Now, it wasn't just us 'crazy old ladies' but I admit we started it. There was a teeny tiny riot at the club. It all started when I climbed on the stage and was followed by Myrtle. I decided my stripper name would be Peaches to match the tint in my hair. Myrtle decided hers would be Bambi because she loved that movie. Anyway, we grabbed the microphone and began to sing and gyrate. Bambi took off her top and then I ripped off mine. Okay, I didn't rip it, but not from lack of trying. The men tried to get us off the stage because the chicks were booing us. I've never tried doing it with a chick but hey, you're never too old to try something new. I'm willing to try new things!

Myrtle and I managed to pull off their little outfits when the men tried to get us off stage. I had one in my purse for my collection. When they were au natural I managed to feel a few of their packages. It was heaven to feel the skin of hard one. I mean most of the old guys can't get it up anymore. That's why I need to be a cougar and get me a young stud. Myrtle also copped a feel. That is when it got out of control. My other BFF's climbed up and were grabbing the men who were screaming. Unfortunately, they started to deflate.

One young girl was arrested for fondling the men and the cops too. I think there were a few firemen she grabbed as well. Another girl was caught giving one of the strippers a blowjob so he could perform some more. She was arrested for having sex in public. I think the club may have trouble reopening. Me and the girls will probably be banned if they do. Oh well, wouldn't be the first time I've been banned from a strip club. We were arrested by Stephanie's friends. They put us in lock up and called the girls kids. Talk about a role reversal. Usually parents get called to get their children. They actually called Stephanie and Ranger to come get me. No one wanted to deal with a screeching Helen.

I don't know what that hottie did but all of us were out without having to get bonded. I think he paid the club owner for the damage. I should probably try to pay him back some from my winnings. We were leaving, I was wearing a t-shirt and yoga pants Stephanie brought me, having lost my shirt and bra at the club. The cops had given me an orange jump suit. We were walking toward the door when Helen and Frank walked in.

I knew this was going to get ugly. I don't think I've ever seen her so angry before. She had red splotches of color on her cheeks and neck, her eye were a bright blue that looked like they blazed with anger. Her mouth was a tight line and pinched. I think I may have gone too far this time but she better watch herself, I'm still her mother.

"Mother, how could you? I got fifteen phone calls that you started a riot, stripped and pulled the scraps of fabric off the men and felt them up. I can't believe you, a strip club at your age," Helen screeched.

Ranger, with quiet authority, simply stated as he looked around, "Let's take this to your house, Mrs. Plum. There will be less for the Burg grapevine to rehash if they don't hear you first hand."

I watched her sniff and nod in agreement. We walked out together and I rode with the youngsters' home. I thought it was safer to stay away from Helen for as long as possible. It was interesting to sit in the backseat while they sat quietly in the front. It surprised me because Stephanie was very talkative normally. There was a comfort level between them I never saw with her and that Morelli boy. These two definitely belong together. All too soon we pulled up in front of the house. We all got out of the cars; Ranger helped me down, such a sweet boy. He's always well-mannered and polite, again such a difference than that Morelli boy.

Helen bustled into the kitchen and brought out coffee with a nice coffee cake. She poured coffee and cut the cake passing it around. Even Ranger took a piece. We were all quiet but the tension was thick in the room. We sipped coffee and ate the cake slowly. I wasn't looking forward to my daughter yelling at me.

Helen finally asked, "Mother, what do you have to say for yourself?"

I looked at her and icily replied, "Since when do I answer to you? You can lord it over Valerie and Stephanie. You get angry if they try to defend themselves and complain about them being disrespectful. You aren't showing me any respect today. I'm the mother and you are the child. What would your father say if he were alive to hear you? I don't hear Angela Morelli speaking to Bella in such a manner and that woman is totally insane."

I watched Helen sputter and out of the corner of my eye I saw Frank smile slightly. He should've reined her in a long time ago. "You have embarrassed this whole family tonight. Who knows how much money you cost poor Carlos to get you out of jail? I don't know what to do with you, why can't you act your age? I think I have a right to question you if you are living in my house," she calmly replied.

I was making a decision, "Where does it say we have to 'act' our age? As long as it makes me happy and I'm not hurting anyone, I will act whatever age I want to."

Helen's eyes flashed with anger, "I think we need to have you seen by a psychiatrist. We may need to put you in a home so you can't act like a crazy person."

Stephanie, Frank and Ranger all gasped in shock. I was ready to blow but then Ranger, in his quiet, calm manner spoke. "I think we should all take tonight to think about things before we say something we may regret and cause irreconcilable differences. Emotions are high right now we should all get a good night's sleep."

We all agreed. We watched the new couple leave and went to bed. The next morning we all spoke calmly and quietly. I was going to stop doing things to take attention off of Stephanie. She told me to do the things I want to do but don't do crazy things to try and take the spotlight off her. She would take care of Helen on her own. Ranger gave her the courage to stand up for herself. I was so proud of her and knew she would be okay. I would do what I wanted and have fun, but I would no longer do the outrageous to save her, Ranger already had.


End file.
